Consider and answer me, O LORD my God

Psalm 13

Prayer for Help in Trouble.

For the choir director. A Psalm of David.

    ¹How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever?
         How long will You hide Your face from me?
    ²How long shall I take counsel in my soul,
         Having sorrow in my heart all the day?
         How long will my enemy be exalted over me?
    ³Consider and answer me, O LORD my God;
         Enlighten my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death,
    ⁴And my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
         And my adversaries will rejoice when I am shaken.
    ⁵But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness;
         My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.
    ⁶I will sing to the LORD,
         Because He has dealt bountifully with me.


When you feel discouraged. When you feel alone. Don't worry, you're not the only one who has felt this way. You're not the only one whose heart has cried out, "where is so great a salvation?"


I think the verse that strikes me to the core is "How long shall I take council in my own soul?" Have you ever felt this way? How many times do we simply lock ourselves away to think, to plot out courses to find our solutions, our own happiness? I do this, I receive my own council readily, I weigh in the balance every option and never find peace in any conclusion.


The Lord is drawing us towards that which is simple, that which is eternal, and that which satisfies; his person. 


When you find yourself in these times, cling to what the psalmist discovers, cling to his heart cry. He shouts as we all do whether we realize it or not, "consider my heart cry!" or rather "Lord please don't forget me!" No dear ones, you are not forgotten, he will enlighten your eyes.


"But i have trusted in your loving-kindness" here is our part, trust. Faith is built on trust, not in ideas, but in a person. The cry is to "My Lord, My God." The temptation is to believe he is not ours, that we are apart from him. Don't forget the words of Christ, his prayer to the father. That we might know we are in Him and he in the father and the father and he in us. Here is the salvation in which we rejoice. We are not separate, we need not seek our own council continually, we only need trust in Him. 


So open your mouth and praise him. In times of loneliness and confusion confess out loud those simple truths you do know, those realities that supersede all emotion. He is our God, and he has delt bountifully with us. 

I have a message from God in my heart...

Psalm 36^[a]

    For the director of music. Of David the servant of the LORD.

 ¹ I have a message from God in my heart
   concerning the sinfulness of the wicked:^[b]
There is no fear of God
   before their eyes.

 ² In their own eyes they flatter themselves
   too much to detect or hate their sin.
³ The words of their mouths are wicked and deceitful;
   they fail to act wisely or do good.
⁴ Even on their beds they plot evil;
   they commit themselves to a sinful course
   and do not reject what is wrong.

 ⁵ Your love, LORD, reaches to the heavens,
   your faithfulness to the skies.
⁶ Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,
   your justice like the great deep.
   You, LORD, preserve both people and animals.
⁷ How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!
   People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ They feast on the abundance of your house;
   you give them drink from your river of delights.
⁹ For with you is the fountain of life;
   in your light we see light.

 ¹⁰ Continue your love to those who know you,
   your righteousness to the upright in heart.
¹¹ May the foot of the proud not come against me,
   nor the hand of the wicked drive me away.
¹² See how the evildoers lie fallen—
   thrown down, not able to rise!

I'm too smart to do this, but here I am. What is peace my friends? I've spent a lot of time dwelling on this idea, perhaps too much. I'm a creature of habit, I like my routines. I love coffee in the morning and knowing someone loves me, and knowing someone will hurt because they care for me.

"I have a message from God in my heart." 

That still small voice. That voice which reminds me of my need in the depth of my rationalizations, my explanations, my willful desire to be free of accountability. I'm not here to judge, I'm not here to say stop sinning. What use is that?


I long for peace. to close my eyes at night and rest...


"there is no fear of God before their eyes." Those stupid sinners, if they would just get right with Jesus this world would be a better place. Wouldn't that be wonderful? Dumb, that's quite simply a dumb thing to say, because I'm a believer, I'm right with Jesus and I still have a lot of "right" to be doing.


I think its right to say I flatter myself too much. I can think myself out of any hole, lie my way into any explanation, but I can't hide from the light. I can't hide from the light that sees light. 


So great a salvation, we neglect so great a salvation. I've neglected it, and if you're honest with yourself you have to. No I'm not judging you, this is not a call to righteousness. I'm not the holy spirit.


This is a call away from self delusion. I'm guilty of it, why should I say otherwise? I own my behavior, no one else does. Nobody forces any of my actions.


I have been told to do a thing and it hurts, it hurts because it's familiar as all old friends are. I know every thought and every way of the beast. I can explain  its actions, I can see where it goes, I know in my heart it's motivation, but I posses no justification. 


Perhaps, I think myself to complicated, to exceptional. I can change it! I'm a believer I can redeem this! I can show forgiveness! In me a light will be seen!
What a fool's errand.


Yes I'm a fool. I'm a fool for listening to my rationalizations rather than my maker. The Lord hates. Yes, you read that. He is not all love. Shocking I know. He hates because he loves. He is not duplicitous in love as I am, no he is singular in motivation. His love is everlasting and sees past temporal logic. 


My friends, you find yourself confused, you find yourself down, you find yourself saying where is my salvation?! 


I'm laughing...I'm laughing because I am with you. I am laughing because the answer is so simple. We don't want to listen. Don't get mad at me for saying so. And don't look for some deeper meaning. The promises of God are yes and no. How much simpler could it be.


Love is clear, love casts out fear. Why? because it is as simple as yes and no. There is no argument, there are no grey areas between yes and no. 


"they plot an evil course on their bed" I am guilty. Why because I look to justify. I look to my explanations of simple truths, my yes is maybe, my no...perhaps. 


No the evil is not I shall kill and deceive, but.... I know.


I simply must shift. I must yes or no. If yes requires rationalization, it is no. And if no the weight of all my being and mental strength...


Peace is simple, love is simple. Such are these that no argument can come against them. His love, his love for me has no conditions, no arguments save yes I do. If he says to let go, let go. Let be, let it be. His words are simple, I should let my actions be too. 

Neglecting so great a salvation.

How will we escape if we neglect so great a salvation?

Hebrews 2:3

I know the majority of those who read this verse think of unbelievers who neglect the salvation of the lord, but I have no mind for that tonight. I suppose I have a much more selfish ambition in my mental wanderings.

Intimacy, what happens to us when we as believers neglect such an intimacy with the Christ?

I was driving the other day and I realized so many men are chasing power. We seek the lord to control his might power, that somehow through our prayers we can tame the lion of Judah and bend him to our will while all the while we confess to ourselves I am serving this beast I contain.

But power is nothing. If my heart craves the lord's power I've damned my ownself as a fool.

No the presence of the Lord is what I must crave. But how many times do I neglect such a salvation? I forsake him, I hear and preach his message, but I forsake him. I crave his power, but I hide from his presence.

Intimacy with the lord is accepting his presence, it's allowing his light to shine and light my eyes. It's meeting him on his terms and seeking his face as my vital need.

In the words of the Psalmist..."you said to me seek my face, your face o lord will I seek."

When did we lose sight of this revelation? That the deep seated desire for power stems from a craving to know his presence as our own? Do we feel that if we master his power as our own we are free of the loneliness of absence?

I cannot ignore any longer this sin so embedded in my heart. I'll call it a sin, I see no other name for it.

Intimacy with the lord is your vital need, there is no escape. Christ said if I be lifted up I will draw all men to me. He is lifted up in an embrace, offering his person. I cannot ignore his face any longer while seeking his guidance. If his eyes burn me till I know my every weakness I can no longer look away.

The disciples said to Christ, "to who else shall we go? you have the words of life." This is the fervor I need, I cannot run to doctrine to thoughts, to prayer. I must first run to him, hunger for his presence above all and through that hunger learn to be satisfied with the bread he offers of his own person. Before I seek any petition I must first seek his face.

I must address my intimacy with the savior and my desperate need for his presence above any other need.

The Unfolding of your words give light

Psalm 119

פ Pe

¹²⁹ Your statutes are wonderful;
therefore I obey them.
¹³⁰ The unfolding of your words gives light;
it gives understanding to the simple.
¹³¹ I open my mouth and pant,
longing for your commands.
¹³² Turn to me and have mercy on me,
as you always do to those who love your name.
¹³³ Direct my footsteps according to your word;
let no sin rule over me.
¹³⁴ Redeem me from human oppression,
that I may obey your precepts.
¹³⁵ Make your face shine on your servant
and teach me your decrees.
¹³⁶ Streams of tears flow from my eyes,
for your law is not obeyed.

I have been thinking a lot about this particular verse:

Psalm 13:3

"Consider and answer me, O Jehovah my God: lighten my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death:"

I do not think I am alone in saying this, but depression is something in which I am prone to wander. I tend to wonder in my own thoughts and let the molehills become mountains, I let my inner doubts and calculations dictate the light of my life and it shows. You know you are around someone who thinks to much when there seems to be a dull haze that fills their eyes. There is life there certainly, but it is far from appealing.

I could give a thousand reasons to pick oneself up from the bootstraps, to change modes of thinking, to focus on the positive, but in the end too many of these fail. Because the truth of the matter is this, where there is no light there is no life.

So how does one address this issue? Are we alone in these feelings?

The psalmist cries and I find myself joining his his cry. "Consider and answer me," haven't we all prayed this? Haven't we all at some point thrown our hands up in exhaustion and said hear me now! I could give biblical examples, but in the end they are just that, examples. Here, in these words, I am asking have you reached this point. The point at which your own honestly compels you to cry out, "Hear me and answer me now." The point where you stop seeking others to bear you up and change your thoughts. Hear my and answer me, Jehovah, my God.

Jehovah my God, what a phrase that is to read. Hear me now, Jehovah, my God. In a very real sense, it is to lay all down and cry out to my God and my God alone, not to men, not to circumstances, not to an opaque deity, but to my God. This is to recognize He is our own, a recognition of his authority, and his willingness to aid us.

"Lest I sleep the sleep of death" have we reached this point? Do we know in our bodies, not just our minds what is the need of a savior; the need of having my God. I don't want to scratch lightly this issue. It is one thing to know you need help mentally, it is another completely to have this need become the hunger of your being, mind body and soul.

The psalmist cries lighten my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death. Give me life, give me your person or I die! This cry is the ultimate confession that all in life is vain unless it is true life, given not obtained.

So now I arrive back at my initial psalm, "The unfolding of your words gives life." Do I know, do we know the full depth of these words?

We like quick fixes, quick answers, quick solutions and I'm hear to say we have these. But receiving and answer and following through on the solution or two different matters.

The Lord says in this passage the unfolding of his word gives life. I must cling to this answer, I must pursue this word. I must as these verses go on to say long for the decrees of the lord. I am not here advocating ideas of commandments, but rather a person. Christ, the beginning and the word made flesh.

Why do we fail when the light has left our eyes? We fail because we look to decrees to give us life, we look towards our own understandings, our own interpretations. Stop it! I must stop it! Christ himself is the unfolding word. This is not to discount the others, not by any means, but it to shift our focus to the power of the author. His words are our life, take them as such. Lean on his person to unfold and reveal himself, his holy spirit to guide and comfort. Stop believing that by reading enough, praying enough, and confessing enough things will change. Start believing first and foremost, believe not just that Christ is able, but is willing, that he is! Only then, when based on a foundation of belief, will reading the word, praying, and confessing his truth bear fruit.

Arise shine for the light is come and the glory of the Lord is risen upon us. Do we have a realization of this truth or do we hope for it? I have spent to much time trying to wrap my head around the idea of a light shinning on me and where has this lead me? only to further darkness. Why? because I don't turn to that light, I just try to understand it. I look to the promise of peace without a relationship with its author.

So here I am now, I'm turning away: not from sound council, not from searching the word, but from the excuse of these. The excuse that these give me to not first seek their author, an author who will unfold their truth to me and make this simpleton wise with complete disregard to his own abilities.

The unfolding of your words brings light, I want to know this. I want to know that the unfolding of Christ himself within me brings light to my eyes.

Atrophy in a state of Grace

I Samuel 17

2 And Saul and the men of Israel were gathered together, and pitched by the valley of Elah, and set the battle in array against the Philistines.

3 And the Philistines stood on a mountain on the one side, and Israel stood on a mountain on the other side: and there was a valley between them

8 And he stood and cried unto the armies of Israel, and said unto them, Why are ye come out to set your battle in array? am not I a Philistine, and ye servants to Saul? choose you a man for you, and let him come down to me...

Matthew 11

12 From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it.

It is simply to easy to say the church needs revival. If only only the church would awake. My friends this is the coward's answer to his own hearts cry. He lays this burden at the feet of other's because he too often lacks the conviction to take up the mantle himself. A coward's cry to an idle of hope.

The battle is arrayed. Philistia stands across the valley in full array. My challenges present themselves fully, they don't hide as I would pretend. They are enemies both within myself and without, but they are there. But where am I? I am sitting in the midst of my brethren; safe and comfortable talking of the power of my God, the strength of my convictions. But still I do not move. I am unmoved. I am scared and I am complacent. The side of the Valley on which I camp is still a mountain and to meet my enemy I must cross the valley and take from him what is mine. But I don't cross. I sit and I stare.

So there am I, cold, and still. Arrayed for the battle, given arms, given commission, but still I sit. I sit to afraid to move because my comfort makes me grow small while all the while my hope grows ever stronger because that hope is never tested. My faith is never tried, so why shouldn't it grow stronger in its own convictions?

Faith never tried will atrophy into the vain hopes of a man to afraid to realize what true hope and faith are.

I atrophy. I atrophy in this state of grace where God has said all my promises are yours through my son, Christ Jesus. I atrophy because in my DNA is this new creature, remade into the image of God's own son who rather than join the fight after his hands have been taught to war, sits on one side of the Valley waiting for this great host of the church to rise. But I know unless I lay a hold of the one who is the author of my faith, I will never rise and I will always be looking for a David who is willing to make my faith real, show me what hope really is. I will always look for Gideon to tear down my idles of hope and force me to realize victory.

My heart's cry will never be realized until I stand up as David did and say "who is this....this challenge," and "whose am I."

So today I stand, and I know I am not the only one standing, in the middle of a great host raising cries of hope, but never acting. So today I must change my cry, I must no longer cry to hope, cry to God, but cry out as David did, "I am come in the name of Lord." My faith must become real. My faith must be tried.

The full might of Israel may have been in the army for they are the ones who pursued and crushed the enemy. But the victory of faith was in David, because he stood and rebuked the decay of hopes deferred.

If our God is real and if he is who his promises claim him to be: if my faith is as he said it can be, I must arise and shine for his light has come upon me. I have no more excuses not to run the race and fight the fight of faith. I have no more reasons to build alters to hope, alters that destroy my faith rather than worship the author of the victory.

I need thee every hour.

I Need Thee Every Hour

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.
I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;
Temptations lose their power when Thou art nigh.

Chorus: I need Thee, O I need Thee;
O I need Thee every hour;
I need you Lord, O bless me now,
My Savior, I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide, or life is vain
I need Thee every hour, teach me Thy will;
And Thy rich promises in me fulfill
(Repeat Chorus)

I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;
O make me Thine indeed, Thou blessed Son
(Repeat Chorus)

Though I should beat my fist against these stones and tear against this mountain side, though I bloody my fingers heaping earth upon earth, building habitation upon habitation, I find no rest.

I seek comfort in words, praying and confessing, but all depart as winds before the gale. Empty are my habitations, empty my storehouse.

"I need thee every hour." Do I know the truth of this?

"Have faith!" they exclaim. "Trust and Obey!" they implore. But where are they to say, "know Him?"

We love Jesus, we trust Jesus, but do we know Jesus?

I love my dog, I trust my dog, but I know my dog.

This heart lacks peace, this faith flounders, and this life has no passion because it does not know the man, the Christ. My purpose here is not to discount the others, but to say know him. Know him on which all else hinges.

“Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son so he can give glory back to you. 2For you have given him authority over everyone. He gives eternal life to each one you have given him. 3And this is the way to have eternal life—to know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, the one you sent to earth. 4I brought glory to you here on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. 5Now, Father, bring me into the glory we shared before the world began.

This is the way, to know him. Know him my soul, know him before you know his peace, know him before you know yourself, know him so you can believe. Because without knowing him, you are not able to have peace, you are not able to live with life.

"I need thee every hour" how true, but seldom heard. I need thee Lord, I need thee. I don't need to prosper, I don't need peace, I don't need to succeed, but I do need thee. "seek first the kingdom,"

seek first the Christ, knock on the door till he bids you enter. Dine with him, drink from his cup and eat his bread.

All other things he will provide. His peace he gives for us to take, his blessings do flow, his supply is our storehouse. But his person, his person is ours and we are to abide in it. WE are to know him. Before all else we need him, we need his person, we need his friendship, his conversation.

The certainty of impossiblities.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

17 By faith Abraham, when he was tried, offered up Isaac: and he that had received the promises offered up his only begotten son, 18 Of whom it was said, That in Isaac shall thy seed be called: 19 Accounting that God was able to raise him up, even from the dead; from whence also he received him in a figure.

Heb 11:1, 17-19

The nature of faith is this: to regard the promise as certain, to hold as a certainty the impossible, to dare to hope in the face of resignation.


To exercise faith in the face of impossibilities is to acknowledge and exercise the divine nature of Christ within, the hope of glory. It is said without faith it is impossible to please God, can anything be more true? It is faith in Christ that saves us, and it is our faith in Christ that moves the very heart of God to action.

The temptation of resignation is a strong elixir. It teaches us to be stoics and bear under pressure. But that pressure will destroy, making dust the coal of the furnace. NO faith is active, it does not endure the pressure but exercises it to work out that salvation, to bring out that God nature, to say I in Him and able to do all things, to endure all things, to suffer all things, and to forbear with love all things.

No faith is not a hope in the peace of resignation, faith is the active heart cry of a trues son's nature. That says, "this, this faith is the proof of all my hope: not the surrender of my dreams."

Until you believe, everything else crumbles.

Psalm 38

Psalm 38

1O Lord, rebuke me not in thy wrath: neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure.

2For thine arrows stick fast in me, and thy hand presseth me sore.

3There is no soundness in my flesh because of thine anger; neither is there any rest in my bones because of my sin.

4For mine iniquities are gone over mine head: as an heavy burden they are too heavy for me.

5My wounds stink and are corrupt because of my foolishness.

6I am troubled; I am bowed down greatly; I go mourning all the day long.

7For my loins are filled with a loathsome disease: and there is no soundness in my flesh.

8I am feeble and sore broken: I have roared by reason of the disquietness of my heart.

9Lord, all my desire is before thee; and my groaning is not hid from thee.

10My heart panteth, my strength faileth me: as for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone from me.

11My lovers and my friends stand aloof from my sore; and my kinsmen stand afar off.

12They also that seek after my life lay snares for me: and they that seek my hurt speak mischievous things, and imagine deceits all the day long.

13But I, as a deaf man, heard not; and I was as a dumb man that openeth not his mouth.

14Thus I was as a man that heareth not, and in whose mouth are no reproofs.

15For in thee, O LORD, do I hope: thou wilt hear, O Lord my God.

16For I said, Hear me, lest otherwise they should rejoice over me: when my foot slippeth, they magnify themselves against me.

17For I am ready to halt, and my sorrow is continually before me.

18For I will declare mine iniquity; I will be sorry for my sin.

19But mine enemies are lively, and they are strong: and they that hate me wrongfully are multiplied.

20They also that render evil for good are mine adversaries; because I follow the thing that good is.

21Forsake me not, O LORD: O my God, be not far from me.

22Make haste to help me, O Lord my salvation

There is nothing hid; why should there be? There is nothing unknowable. Hold fast when they arrows stick; let them fell your pride. He will not break you.

Declare yourself to him, be your most base in his presence. He sees your heart, he is not set to judge, but to make righteous.

Let go of the sin, let its confession escape your lips and be made whole.

Rebuild the Temple

Ezra, chapters 5 & 6, why? because the Lord pointed me to them.

Rebuild the temple, cast your burdens on him and set you hands to the work he has called you to do.

In this passage of scripture work had begun on the temple that had been destroyed during the Babylonian conquest. And as the work progresses, some people wrote to the king of Persia and asked him to check his notes, just to make sure he and his ancestors really meant to let these pesky jews rebuild their temple.

The Lord has called us to repentance. He has called us to take upon ourselves his yoke, to let him do the work of building and rebuilding our temples. But you see all to often we allow ourselves to be the ones who send out letters asking if we really should be building the temple.

We keep sending out letters looking for the cause of guilt that will keep us from moving forward. We keep saying to ourselves, "I had betters study a little more to see if I really should be working."

But praise God he takes us, he lifts us, and he does the work even while we are waiting. You see these jews didn't wait until all the letters came back saying they had all the right contracts. They knew they did. They just kept working and let God establish his will.

So here is what I have to do. I have to keep working. I have to do what I know.I have to rebuild my temple. I have to trust that as I do the work he takes care of all the details. So why should I worry about them when he doesn't?

This is the generation

Psalm 24

1 The earth is the LORD's, and the fullness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.

2 For he has founded it on the seas, and established it on the floods.

3 Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place?

4 He that has clean hands, and a pure heart; who has not lifted up his soul to vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.

5 He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.

6 This is the generation of them that seek him, that seek your face, O Jacob. Selah.

7 Lift up your heads, O you gates; and be you lift up, you everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in.

8 Who is this King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle.

9 Lift up your heads, O you gates; even lift them up, you everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in.

10 Who is this King of glory? The LORD of hosts, he is the King of glory. Selah.

Accept no substitutes. We claim we want the best, but we settle for the first. We claim we want all removed except for him, but we cling to the dust.

If we want God's best, we must demand his best. But more than this we accept nothing other than him. "This is the generation that seeks him." This is the generation that says enough! I want the truth, Jesus I want the truth. I want to know you, not about you. I want you not messages and books about you. I want you not trendy sermons and heart salves. I want you! I want you! I want you!

We are all faced with choices. And here is mine, I want the truth. I'm tired of chasing fruit that is only dust in the mouth. People with answers, who don't know the one who speaks them. I want the truth. I want to know why I hurt, I want to know their is pain. I don't want to know someone's enlightened opinion. I want to know what it means to be all in all.

I am weak, my flesh is brought low. But in all this I see only one thing. This is the generation that seeks him. My friends, we must seek him. We must seek him because he is truth. He isn't a twelve step program, He isn't a book. He is I am. HE is the word made flesh. Seek him though it kills you. Seek him though it cost you everything you have.

The lord may not demand of you your goods, your family, your friends, but be assured of this. When you seek him all other things become tasteless clay until you find him. All other things become lifeless caricatures until his light fills us to see.

I know there are those who say, "I see God in everything." But I would say this to them, don't just look at the shadows. Don't be content to see the evidences of his work, demand him! If he has said he will be your all in all, demand it.

God put eternity in men's hearts, he says so in Ecclesiastes. But he said he did so so men would never be satisfied and would never see what he was doing from start to finish. I'm fine with this. I know the world will spin regardless of my seeing it. But I want the creator. I want more than life, I want the creator of life.

Don't settle, don't let your hearts grow cold, don't be satisfied. And for goodness sakes, don't look for another retreat! Charge, charge towards his heart. Beg to seek. Beg for him to break, so that no substitute will heal the wound.

Jesus said he came that he may show men the Father. Well, take him at his word! Look at the Father, ask for eyes to see. Ask for words to praise, ask that the cold hard soil of your heart be broken so that it can receive the still small words that fall like seeds.

This is the generation that seeks Him!!! Seek him, seek him, seek him! And when you do! when you know you do, when your heart bears witness that you do. Raise your eyes and see the king of glory enter!!!

Take Strength in the Journey

Psalm 38:10

My heart throbs, my strength fails me; And the light of my eyes, even that has gone from me.

Psa 38:12

Those who seek my life lay snares {for me;} And those who seek to injure me have threatened destruction, And they devise treachery all day long

Psa 38:21

Forsake me not, O LORD: O my God, be not far from me.

Psa 38:22

Make haste to help me, O Lord my salvation.


There are times when you don't feel you can go any further. You feel like each step weighs more than the last, even though you should be rested. You see your dreams falling all around you as you march on towards some unseen and undisclosed location. It hurts, I won't lie, and the more aggressive you steps the harder the ground seems to meet you.

I can think of nothing more painful than feeling alone. Nothing that steals away your strength than feeling like you are the only one fighting against yourself and the world you inhabit.

But take comfort in this. You are not the only one who has been here, in this place of utter failings. Where the world seems to stop and everything and everyone you love is stripped away. A place where food becomes tasteless and all pleasure becomes an artificial way to waste time.

The Lord is a hard master, he demands our all. He takes, he strips, he wounds, He destroys. I would like to sit here and say he only takes the bad, but that would be a lie. He takes everything that is not him, if even just for a season. He is in essence the most selfish being imaginable.

So why run towards this selfish desire, why cry out in the night, break me and take all I am? Why say, "you are enough," to one that takes all you have? leaving you the pot ash of your existence.

We cry because he is the only thing that is real.

We cry break me, because he is the only one whose rod is worthy of the task. We lay bear our chests to his wounds because he laid out his whole being to bring us into himself.

You see the lord demands of us himself that is within us. His holiness demands a complete setting aside of all we are and all we have; a complete exposure of his son. He is selfish, because he is holy and all we bring to him is our testimony of the breaking, and power of the blood of the lamb.

So if you are at that point, where the light of your eyes grows dim and your strength is failing. I Would say this, let them go, you've held on to long. Your eyes aren't worth the seeing, and your strength will never move a mountain.

Let affliction do its work. let the breaking expose the bone. When the psalmist cries out lord you are my only good thing. He means it. All else is removed.

If you ask, the Lord will break you, you will cry, you will want to quite, and you will think him the greatest evil you have known. But let me assure you of this, we can by faith be assured that when our eyes grow dim his light will shine the brightest through them, and when our strength fails, he will move the mountain, and when all is striped away, forcibly if needs be; he will be there our all in all.

Pleasing God

Hebrews 11:6

But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that comes to God must believe that he is, and that he is a reward er of them that diligently seek him.

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

It appears that pleasing the Lord is not as difficult as we would have it be. I often get the sense that he is just waiting for us to take him at his word with the faith of a child.

It may be counter intuitive for anyone who prays to think they are not praying to someone who exists, but I think sometimes we have to ask ourselves that very question.

Are we praying to someone who exists? If this were not an issue why would the verse call out this proposition so clearly? That those who come to the lord must first believe he is and that he rewards those who diligently seek him.

Part of me thinks it's insanely cruel to tell someone seeking assistance that they must do so diligently. From the time we are children, aren't we told Jesus is always with us and that he is just a breath away? Then why are we told he rewards those who diligently seek him? Is there something I have missed? I thought he was the God who always answered whenever and wherever I called.

But here is what I am beginning to understand. The Lord is a loving God, but he is also intensely jealous. He is ever willing to save, but not ever willing to abide with men.

I have never been a party to the belief that says you never know if you are saved or not. I know that I'm saved and that all that come to him, he won't cast out.

But what no one ever talks about is the need to separate oneself unto the Lord; to in fact know he exists and seek after him. You see the lord does answer prayer, but I'm convinced that the only people who fully receive the entire revelation of this are those that move beyond the "poor sinner, saved by grace" mentality and strive headlong into a pursuit of the Lord.

I must be clear, this has nothing to do with the love of the Lord. He loves us all, but really to please the Lord we have to go deeper than where we have been content to stand. We have to pursue him like he is real, not abstract.

Let's be honest with ourselves. How many times when we are praying are we planning for the failure of our prayers, running countless backup plans for when things don't work out. I know that I am not immune to this, but I am tired of it. I'm tired of the constant nagging doubts.

So here we have the issue. When we set our hearts to know him, to peruse him, and above all to trust him. We must diligently seek him. But what is diligence?

Diligence is walking through the trails, facing the doubts, losing loved ones, having prayers fall back at our feet, having prayers answered, facing doubt, feeling pain, and fighting every moment of every day to believe something we can't see or feel.

But here is where we come at the end of our journey. We arrive at "I am." Paul says those that come to the lord must first believe that he is, we really must know that he is the great "I am." and that he is completely other than we are. But that he has embraced us as his own.

I'm not saying any of this to promote doubt or discouragement. What I simply want to say is this: face the fears, ask the questions you have. HE WILL ANSWER, but you have to believe he will. Don't just keep doing things hoping they will work, tell him you are having trouble and ask him to teach you how to know he exists. Ask him to be real to you, he won't turn you away.

And this I do know, that once you know that you know "he is". You will have no doubts that cannot be overcome and no prayers to an open sky. Instead your faith will thrive and most importantly you will please him, which in the end is more satisfying than any other pursuit I can think of.

A very present help in trouble

Psalm 46

God is Our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though
The earth should change.

Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its
swelling pride.

There is a city whose streams make
Glad the city of God.
The holy dwelling places of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her,
She will not be moved:
God will help her when the morning dawns.

The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered:
He raised His voice, the earth melted.
The Lord of hosts is with us:
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.

Come behold the works of the Lord,
Who has wrought desolations in the earth.
He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns chariots with fire.

"Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I
will be exalted in the earth."

The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.

Tonight I am tired. I have not slept well lately because I let my mind think too much and trust to little. In short I am, like Jacob, a schemer. I keep looking for the ways to score the advantage, to take care of things, and to figure out how to get the blessing.

But guess what? I don't sleep. That doesn't sound or feel very much like peace to me.

So hear is what I must remember and here is what I must do. I must cease my striving and know that when the Lord says, "I am God" He means it. When he says he is an ever present help in trouble, I must take him at his word and trust in his help.

I must do as this psalm says and not fear, even though everything else in my life may be in a state of flux. I must know he is the constant. He is the one who not only causes the storms to be silent, but also makes the wars in my mind and personality to cease.

He is a Shield

Psalm 18:30-

As for God, His way is blameless:
The word of the Lord is tried:
He is a shield to all who take refuge
In Him.

For who is God, but the Lord?
And who is a rock, except our God,
The God Who girds me with strength,
And makes my way blameless?

He Makes my feet like hinds feet,
and sets me upon my high places.
He trains my hands for battle,
So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

Thou hast also given me the shield of Thy Salvation
And Thy right hand upholds me,
And Thy gentleness has made me great.
Thou dost enlarge my steps under me,
And my feet have not slipped.


The Lord is our shield. We must realize this. We must know that he is our covering. That he is our God, our protector, our covering!

He doesn't save us and then throw us out there. David says "You train my hands for battle." That doesn't sound like David knew what he was doing, does it? But here is the other thing we must remeber, once we have learned we need to use what we learn. He trained David's hands so he could use them.

But the Lord is our Shield. The shield of faith quenches the fiery darts of the enemy! Trust that he is covering you as he shows you how to join the fight! Whether it's med schools or car payments, he will take care of you while he teaches you how to use his word and how to walk in his ways. But make no mistake, once you know how to fight, once your hands are trained, you will have to use them, in fact I bet you will want to!

So take heart and rest. Rest in the fact that the word of the Lord is tried and he is a sheild to all them that trust in him. If you don't know what to do, if you feel guilt and shame, if you think yourself into a corner, let him be your sheild. Take refuge from all these distractions in Him: and he will show you while he protects you what you need to do. He will never send you into the fray without teaching you how to win the victory!

Psalm 107b

10 Some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom,
prisoners suffering in iron chains,

11 for they had rebelled against the words of God
and despised the counsel of the Most High.

12 So he subjected them to bitter labor;
they stumbled, and there was no one to help.

13 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.

14 He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom
and broke away their chains.

15 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men,

16 for he breaks down gates of bronze
and cuts through bars of iron.


When I read this my mind automatically recalls the verse from Isiaih 60, "Arise shine for your light has come and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you."

The first part of this psalm lays out the case condeming many of us. We have neglected the word of God. We have tried it out own way. We despisd the counsel of the one who wants to set us free and we've forged our own chains.

I can't help but sit here and relate to the metaphor given, "some sat in darkness and deepest gloom, prisoners suffereing in iron chains." We suffer, when we fail to abide in his word, when we reject his gentle leading, when we go our way, we suffer.

But when we cry out, when we cry out everything changes. The psalm says when they cried out to the lord he led them out of the gloom and darkness and broke away their chains.

We must remember that Christ came to set the captives free! to give sight to the blind! and to destroy the works of the devil.

"Arise shine for the light is come! and the glory of the lord is risen upon you!"

Psalm 107a

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.
2 Let the redeemed of the LORD say this—
those he redeemed from the hand of the foe,

3 those he gathered from the lands,
from east and west, from north and south. [a]

4 Some wandered in desert wastelands,
finding no way to a city where they could settle.

5 They were hungry and thirsty,
and their lives ebbed away.

6 Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.

7 He led them by a straight way
to a city where they could settle.

8 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men,

9 for he satisfies the thirsty
and fills the hungry with good things

Tongiht I tell myself to hold fast to this promise. I tell myself to make this psalm my confession.

I must not allow myself to forget to give thanks to the lord, that his love really does endure forever, no matter how I feel or what my mind is telling me.

Right now I feel like those wandering in the desert. I feel like I'm wandering because I have tried so many paths and none of them have led me to a city of habitation. I'm hungry and I'm thirsty, and when I look around I see my life, my youth and my ambition slipping away.

But now I have to cry out. I have to cry out to the Lord in my trouble. I must not remain silent, quiet, brooding. I have to throw it all at his feet, confess my wanderings, confess my shortcomings. I must seek his face.

I must cry out to him because he is my deliverer. The scripture says the cried out to him and he delivered them from their distress.The led them by a straight way toa a city where they could settle.

I must believe. I must believe that he is faithful and I must give thanks for his unfailing love. I must settle it within me that when I cry out he will lead me to the places I need to be in my life. That he will put me in a place where I can make my habitation and that he will deliver me from all my distresses.

Psalm 42
As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

4 These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.

5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and 6 my God.
My [c] soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

7 Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

8 By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

9 I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"

10 My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

11 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.


I have found here lately that the closer one pushes into God the further others get pushed away. It seems our God is a holy god and a jealous God. He won't share our affection.

The psalmist say his soul pants for the lord. I can see no other way. When the Lord becomes the burning desire of the heart nothing else will satisfy and all else will become artificial and cheap.

But the lord is a jealous God, he won't share our affections. If we want Him we have to forsake all others. WE must climb to the cross and share his burden, his heart and his desires.

At this point I wish I could say all was joy, but honestly I can't. My head subscrbies to the idea, but my heart only feels the loneliness of being between to places.

When I read this Psalm I see David crying out for the satisfaction he longs for. He says he remebers the times he lead teh people in shouts of joy to the lord, but now he only knows the taste of ihs tears and those same peoples taunts.

It seems many people are willing to sing, dance and praise when you are learning about God. But when you are like David, demanding to know the heart of God, not just about him, those same people don't know how to seek him.

It seems that the more one desires to know the lord, the more unsatisfied one must become adn the further away from joy they march at least until they find what the are looking for.

The Lord is a jealous God and if we ask to know him, it appears he will not let us know any substitutions.

Intimacy

PSALM 65
To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David. A Song.

PRAISE is awaiting You, O God, in Zion;

And to You the vow shall be performed.
Psa 65:2 O You who hear prayer,
To You all flesh will come.
Psa 65:3 Iniquities prevail against me;
As for our transgressions,
You will provide atonement for them.

Psa 65:4 Blessed is the man You choose,
And cause to approach You,
That he may dwell in Your courts.
We shall be satisfied with the goodness of Your house,
Of Your holy temple.

Psa 65:5 By awesome deeds in righteousness You will answer us,
O God of our salvation,
You who are the confidence of all the ends of the earth,
And of the far-off seas;
Psa 65:6 Who established the mountains by His strength,
Being clothed with power;
Psa 65:7 You who still the noise of the seas,
The noise of their waves,
And the tumult of the peoples.
Psa 65:8 They also who dwell in the farthest parts are afraid of Your signs;
You make the outgoings of the morning and evening rejoice.

Psa 65:9 You visit the earth and water it,
You greatly enrich it;
The river of God is full of water;
You provide their grain,
For so You have prepared it.
Psa 65:10 You water its ridges abundantly,
You settle its furrows;
You make it soft with showers,
You bless its growth.

Psa 65:11 You crown the year with Your goodness,
And Your paths drip with abundance.
Psa 65:12 They drop on the pastures of the wilderness,
And the little hills rejoice on every side.
Psa 65:13 The pastures are clothed with flocks;
The valleys also are covered with grain;
They shout for joy, they also sing.

So what happens when we give up running? When we let our hearts and minds be still?

It's very simple we begin to praise. We begin to love. We set ourselves apart and draw close to the one who seeks us out.

The Psalmist says "Praise is awaiting You." When your heart is free you can't help but let it praise. When you know what you have, what has been done, and what will be you can't help it!

I love how he says, "iniquities prevailed against me; as for our trangressions, you will provide an atonement." We know, we know when their is a separation. No one needs to tell us when we grow cold, when we doubt, when depression sneaks up on us. But here he tells us, he provides a way back to Himself. Even though everything comes crashing in on us, he delivers. He answers prayer so that all men will come to him. The point is God provided a way to have intimacy. He makes a way to keep us company, to be in relationship with us.

When you trust someone, when you love someone, you are true to them. You will do anything to keep that trust. You will stop hanging out with other friends, you will put the rest of your life on hold just to keep that intimacy. Well here is the Lord, he made a way, he does everything he can to have intimacy with us. He sacrificed himself to bring us to him. He laid down his all just so we would come to Him,

Do you see now why David can say blessed is the man you choose and cause to appraoch you, that he may dwell in Your courts? WE have to realize this, the Lord has called each and every one of us to abide with him. He's calling us out of our lonely places, out of our confusion and unto himself.

But He also knows how we are prone to doubt, so in this Psalm he lays out his case for us. He shows us the evidence. But more importantly he shows us the benefit of living intimately with him. You can read this whole psalm and one thing stands out, the lord nourishes. He provides for those he loves and those that draw near to him. All they have to do is call to him!

So intimacy, intimacy is not being holy, it is not living in cave so you don't sin or have the opportunity to. Intimacy is drawing near to the Lord, calling on him and he causes you to appraoch him, dwelling in his courts rather than trying to pitch your own tents.

I'm always reminded by one phrase in Psalm 27 and it really has become etched on my heart "Seek my face." The Lord never asks us to climb the mountains, or make ourselves holy, he has provided the way. But He is continually crying out draw near. And when we draw near, we know exactly what will happen, just read psalm 65 and see.

Loneliness

1Jo 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

Mat 14:23 And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone.

Mar 6:30 ¶ And the apostles gathered themselves together unto Jesus, and told him all things, both what they had done, and what they had taught.
Mar 6:31 And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while: for there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat.
Mar 6:32 And they departed into a desert place by ship privately.


I don't believe there is anything more acidic than the fear of being alone.

We try to be self sufficient, many of us succeed. But still there is the intense desire to know, that somehow we don't have to do it all alone.

But the fear of being alone is an acid. It permeates every portion of our being and if left unchecked begins to dramatically effect not only our behaviors, but our firmest beliefs.

I have often wandered why so many of the people I know are wiling to stay in a relationship or situation while the ship is on fire and filled with gasoline. But it isn't love that keeps them there; love is pure, enduring, not suicidal.

I was reading in Mark this morning and saw this:

Mar 6:30 The apostles returned to Jesus, and told him all that they had done and taught.
Mar 6:31 And he said to them, "Come away by yourselves to a lonely place, and rest a while." For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.

What stood out to me was this. Here Jesus had sent his disciples out with real power and when they get back to tell him how well it went the first thing he does is say, "Let's get by ourselves to a lonely place." I suppose I was expected to see him give them a pat on the back.

These men had just experience more power and likely more people flocking to them than they had ever known. Can you imagine the crowds that must have followed them? even the man who brought his son that they were unable to cast the demon out. But Jesus tells them to come and be alone. He tells them to come and be alone so they can rest.

Here is my suggestion. If the fear of loneliness is a very real thing to you. Realize that being alone is not the issue because we have been assured that he will never leave us nor forsake us. WE ARE NOT ALONE. But confront the fear, meet it head on, and call it for what it is.

We must realize that "fear brings torment, but perfect love casts out fear." Many times when we feel lonely we allow our own minds and our own emotions to torment us. But why are we letting ourselves do this? I personally think it might be due to our own retardation. And if you are thinking this might be an issue of faith it is not.

This is an issue of acceptance and submission. If we believe the word of God is true. If we believe he is faithful and just, than we need to submit our mind to the understanding he has not left us alone. Then we need to accept and allow his love to cast out the fear, not just of being alone, but of anything.

So if you find yourself feeling lonely, wanting desperately for company, checking your email, your myspace, and your facebook twenty times a day just see if someone knows you are alive, and thinking you will die alone, stop it! Stop it!Stop it! If you want to make camp on that mountain go ahead, but you will never find rest on a steep slope.

Instead plant yourself in the word, discover just how not alone you are. How many promises of intimacy the Lord gives for those who seek him.

David says in the Psalms on more than one occasion that the only thing he wants is to be in the holy of holies with the lord. Do you realize this is the one place on earth where one "sinless" man could go one time a year! and if anyone tried to come in otherwise they died!!! That my friends is a lonely place, but it is also the place nearest God's heart.

Jesus told his disciples not to relish in their new power and new crowds, but to come apart. He says to David "Seek my face." Why? because is seeking his face and being apart you can find true rest, true peace, true company.I can think of only one place that is truly alone and that is separated from God.

If you find yourself lonely, brokenhearted, confused, and tired. I would ask you to do this seek after his face, set yourself apart in a place with the word, because the word is life. Just like Jesus took the disciples aside to let them regain their strength, he'll take you and me.